Today I had an interview with a restaurant in Cambridge. I took a bus and the T Red Line to get to the restaurant and then again to get home. While I watched the city slip past me as the driver sped on I thought about transportation and compromise. Both are necessary for cities to function and both have become necessary for people to function as well. While seemingly unlinked the two are actually synonymous with one another. A person must get to work and it may only be 5 miles away but they cannot afford a car so they compromise and take public transportation. One might have an interview at 3pm and although they do not need to be there until 2:50pm the only train to run at that time drops them off at 2:30. So they compromise and go early to the area or interview and walk around in CVS or something. The problem becomes when Public Transportation starts to help us compromise ourselves and our dreams.
When I first moved to Chicago public transportation was a new concept to me. I figured riding the trains or buses would be glamorous just like in the movies: I was so sure I would see an awesome chase through the train cars or watch two people fall in love as the doors close and they are torn apart. Sadly I was mistaken. The glamour of public transportation quickly wore off and while I loved riding home on Chicago’s brown line as the sun was setting I could do without the perpetual pee and vomit smell that Chicago’s red line is known for.
Boston and Chicago are fortunate to be part of an elite group of metropolises with public transportation systems that weave through all the major and minor parts of the city. You can easily access a bus or train from any major street in either of these cities. And even though their train systems have different names (Chicago calls its 100year old system the “L” for lift and Boston’s is known as the “T” for transit or transportation) the people and experiences found on the trains can be very similar in both cities. When one is taking the T or the L one can definitely expect loud children, drunken sorority girls, fake homeless people, and the occasional guy that thinks hitting on you at 2am after a long day at work even with you head phones in is OK.
I find the train to be either the absolute highlight of my day or the absolute down fall. When everyone is quiet and there are seats available the T can be a calming place to reflect on your day or listen to your new Mumford & Sons album. The T is a place you can easily make important decisions about life, decisions about career steps, relocating, and friendships. But it can also be an added exhaustion when you’re tired and the 5 year old next to you won’t stop moving and talking. Or when you are running late/on a tight schedule and public transportation decides to run late too. I’ve always felt the one thing I can count on with the train is it will not be on time.
Some of my best memories of Chicago happened on the L. I remember riding the Brown Line from the Wellington stop to the Library stop with my two roommates every morning for a year. The train was always super crowded in the morning and I remember the first time Stephanie, Rachel and I took the Brown Line in for class. There was only one spot to hold onto the railing, so we decided I would grab the railing for dear life while Rachel grabbed my bag and arm. And poor Stephanie being tiny and adorable held both of our bags and wedged herself in between a million strangers praying she would not fall over. We laughed the whole way to school and most morning after that and it became a moment I think about on a regular basis.
As I mentioned earlier I went to an interview with a restaurant today. It went well and after a quick shadow tomorrow I will hopefully have a job. And yet I cannot stop the overwhelming feeling of compromise. I am still pursuing my hopes of having a career I can be really happy in and move up in but it is taking a little longer to launch those hopes then I expected. Thus I must get a job to pay the bills and the only thing I’m seemingly qualified for is a position in a restaurant. The restaurant industry is a fantastic and lucrative industry, and having worked in it for many years I have much respect for all the people that make it run. I however do not wish to be a server or bartender forever, and I also have no desire to be a manager so that doesn’t leave me much room for the industry. Yet alas I am compromising myself to go back to the industry so I can continue to live in a nice place with cable and internet and be able to go out to the places I want and drink the drinks I like. And public transportation is helping me make all those dreams come true (That was slathered in sarcasm for those that didn’t pick up on it). Today I felt like I was doing the walk of shame on my way home (No Mom that’s totally not a feeling I’m familiar with). I felt like I was whoring myself out to something I didn’t even want. Convincing these people I’m the best and most qualified so I can do a job I don’t long for but need fiscally. Riding home on the T started with a feeling of pride that I had landed a shadow and then the pride quickly slipped into shame that I was letting myself be someone I don’t want to be.
I started to think of all the compromises I make everyday. From the small ones like I’ll just sleep for 5 more minutes to the large ones like I’ll just lose my soul to money. I wonder how many compromises we make in our lives? And not all compromises are bad, but sometimes even the ones that come with good intentions can do large amounts of damage. Does that mean I’ll stop making compromises? Of course not! That’s what survival of the fittest was all about. We have to make the compromises to survive, but it is important to realize that too many compromises can have the opposite effect of survival. So alas, I will march forward in my venture to transition cities and careers and I will attempt not to compromise myself to the point of extinction, something we must all venture to do daily. And I will continue to take the T for transportation to whatever venture I am compromising myself to do. Xoxo
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Season for Change
Alas the change of the season is upon us and while fall is my favorite season of the year the significant drop in weather has also given way to the cold/virus season. Speaking with friends in Chicago and Boston as well as family in Raleigh, NC I am realizing this cold/virus is making its way around the country. I have found myself under the constraints of this cold for the last few days leaving me plenty of time to catch up on Grey’s Anatomy and think about the future. Recently my thoughts have been turned to another quickly spreading larger national epidemic: Debt.
Student Loan Debt is rapidly becoming one of the largest forms of debt amongst people under 35. The average cost of a year of tuition, fees, room & board for the school year 2010-2011 will be $34,046 according to the education-portal research. That means four years at college will cost $136,184 without including books, supplies, presentation materials and the basic cost of entertainment/extra-curricular’s a student may participate in. Even before the state of the economy was flailing and withering away being able to pay $136,184 for a child’s education seems like an impossibility. Top that off with the fact that most families consist of 2-3 children so the idea of paying for a college education upfront becomes unimaginable for parents today.
My program in college was small and consisted of about 20 graduates in my class. Only 4-5 students in my program’s class had any financial help from their parents when it came to paying for college. Out of those 4-5 students only 1-2 had parents who were able to avoid taking out any student loans to pay for their children’s education. That means 90% of the people around me on a daily basis have some form of student loans to pay back, and most of those people have their whole college education to pay back.
When I started College I had no credit and no debt, deeming me almost invisible to today’s society. At 18 I took out my first college loan of $13,000. It was to cover the difference of expenses I could not. I had worked for 2 years already at that point and had a little money saved to put towards my freshman year. Yet it was not enough and I needed help. My mother co-signed on my first loan, and although she warned me time and time again of the dangers of taking out loans I did not understand what a life of paying them back would be. At this point in my life I had never lived on my own. I did not know what electricity, cable, heat or food really cost. I had no concept of what “the cost of living” really meant and what it would take for me to have a semi-decent life in Chicago or Boston. And while I have always been an early bloomer in my life no amount of explanation from my parents or the loan company could have made me understand how hard it is to provide for yourself at that point.
I was able to take out my next student loan at 19 years old completely by myself. I thought it was awesome that I didn’t have to ask my Mom for any help and I could do it by myself (foolish I know). Starting that year I worked 40-70 hours every week for the next three years while completing school full time. I did this so I could avoid depending entirely on loans to pay for things like housing, food, books, and general living costs. Still I had to take out loans to cover tuition and did not understand the repercussions that come from loan debt. But I had a glass half full of optimism that I would graduate and get a great job and everything would be ok. And the cycle continued for two years.
Next came graduation and “the real world” as John Mayor so lovingly sang about. 1 month post graduation is when the loan company will finally tell you what your monthly repayments will be. They will not even address it with you until then. And when the fateful day arrived none of my friends expected to get the monthly bill they received (myself included). 6 months post graduation is when all students must start to repay their loans. The amount of interest to be paid is so much greater then one can calculate especially because all loans come at different rates, and some can fluxuate. At this point your options are pay, defer (only if you start grad school) or do forbearance. The forbearance means you can post pone payments for 3 months at a time for a total of 24months, but you still accrue the interest during this time period, and you have to pay a fee out of pocket to forebear them. So there were my options: pay, forbear but pay more later, or ruin my credit.
The problem I have found is not just the economy collapsing or the fact that I decided not to pursue my field of study post graduation, the problem is that privatized loans can do whatever they want (Including but not limited to making you pay all the money back in 15 years instead of 30 years). Who decided that it was ok to allow an 18 year old to borrow thousands of dollars? A person who does not have the right to drink or rent a car is capable of understanding private student loans? And drinking is destructive but being thousands in debt is not? Someone who can’t get a loan for a house or car because they have no credit can take out thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars in educational loans. And why does the most important part of our society cost so much? Studies have proven that education leads to less war and poverty. I would much rather pay for entry into government funded museums or pay more for public transportation or electricity or food and instead have the government subsidize college the way they subsidize corn!
This topic has been most inspired by one of my best friends, Emily. Emily called me last night to talk about issues she is having with student loans. She works a fulltime day job doing customer service and a night job at a bar and yet is barely making ends meet. We went to school together and this year I watched as she traded her immense talent and dreams of designing environmentally friendly hotels to take a job at a call center with a company that had health insurance and a steady paycheck. Her payments are much higher then expected and she cannot feasibly make them without trading something essential like food or shelter. I felt the desperation in her voice when she told me how the loan company was refusing to work with her and find a solution. She is responsible and trying very hard to do the right thing and yet they will not even hear her out on lowering her payments. Aren’t these the same companies we just gave a $700 billion dollars to? Our tax dollars went to crooks that are already stealing from us and now they won’t give her an inch to breathe. And let’s be honest, we all know they’re going to go bankrupt in the near future even post bailout because this system is so unstable.
The irony of it all is that knowledge is power and ignorance is bliss. You have a great college education and learn of all sorts of things about the world leading you to want to see things and help people. But when you owe someone $40,000-$150,000 and you can not actually experience those things you’ve learned of. So what’s the point? You have to go to college to “get a good job” but do good jobs even exist anymore? And why isn’t the government prioritizing education, especially post-secondary education? I know Obama is working on a bill to stop private loans from robbing people blind, and making new rewards for paying on time but as Emily so brilliantly said to me last night “What about all of us who have loans now? Are we now stuck here in the middle and the breaks will only apply in the future?” I say no. It’s time to take matters into our hands and make this a priority in the government.
I have an idea of how to reach our local congressmen and get this dealt with now, but I am going to need help. If you presently have or had student loans in the past send me your story. Tell me how it’s affected you and how you feel. Tell me if you gave up dreams and if you pay your taxes. Tell me about what you want to do and what you like and what it’s like to make the payments on time. Tell me the good, bad and ugly and any ideas of relief you may have like incentive or forgiveness programs. And then tell your friends. Have them send me their story on facebook. Let’s compile stories from all over the country and make a composite like petitions and a documentary and let’s take it to congress. I’ll work on that part you just have to share your story and get your friends to do the same! Help me take a stand and try to make our lives better so we can make other people’s lives better. I’ll be waiting. Xoxo
Student Loan Debt is rapidly becoming one of the largest forms of debt amongst people under 35. The average cost of a year of tuition, fees, room & board for the school year 2010-2011 will be $34,046 according to the education-portal research. That means four years at college will cost $136,184 without including books, supplies, presentation materials and the basic cost of entertainment/extra-curricular’s a student may participate in. Even before the state of the economy was flailing and withering away being able to pay $136,184 for a child’s education seems like an impossibility. Top that off with the fact that most families consist of 2-3 children so the idea of paying for a college education upfront becomes unimaginable for parents today.
My program in college was small and consisted of about 20 graduates in my class. Only 4-5 students in my program’s class had any financial help from their parents when it came to paying for college. Out of those 4-5 students only 1-2 had parents who were able to avoid taking out any student loans to pay for their children’s education. That means 90% of the people around me on a daily basis have some form of student loans to pay back, and most of those people have their whole college education to pay back.
When I started College I had no credit and no debt, deeming me almost invisible to today’s society. At 18 I took out my first college loan of $13,000. It was to cover the difference of expenses I could not. I had worked for 2 years already at that point and had a little money saved to put towards my freshman year. Yet it was not enough and I needed help. My mother co-signed on my first loan, and although she warned me time and time again of the dangers of taking out loans I did not understand what a life of paying them back would be. At this point in my life I had never lived on my own. I did not know what electricity, cable, heat or food really cost. I had no concept of what “the cost of living” really meant and what it would take for me to have a semi-decent life in Chicago or Boston. And while I have always been an early bloomer in my life no amount of explanation from my parents or the loan company could have made me understand how hard it is to provide for yourself at that point.
I was able to take out my next student loan at 19 years old completely by myself. I thought it was awesome that I didn’t have to ask my Mom for any help and I could do it by myself (foolish I know). Starting that year I worked 40-70 hours every week for the next three years while completing school full time. I did this so I could avoid depending entirely on loans to pay for things like housing, food, books, and general living costs. Still I had to take out loans to cover tuition and did not understand the repercussions that come from loan debt. But I had a glass half full of optimism that I would graduate and get a great job and everything would be ok. And the cycle continued for two years.
Next came graduation and “the real world” as John Mayor so lovingly sang about. 1 month post graduation is when the loan company will finally tell you what your monthly repayments will be. They will not even address it with you until then. And when the fateful day arrived none of my friends expected to get the monthly bill they received (myself included). 6 months post graduation is when all students must start to repay their loans. The amount of interest to be paid is so much greater then one can calculate especially because all loans come at different rates, and some can fluxuate. At this point your options are pay, defer (only if you start grad school) or do forbearance. The forbearance means you can post pone payments for 3 months at a time for a total of 24months, but you still accrue the interest during this time period, and you have to pay a fee out of pocket to forebear them. So there were my options: pay, forbear but pay more later, or ruin my credit.
The problem I have found is not just the economy collapsing or the fact that I decided not to pursue my field of study post graduation, the problem is that privatized loans can do whatever they want (Including but not limited to making you pay all the money back in 15 years instead of 30 years). Who decided that it was ok to allow an 18 year old to borrow thousands of dollars? A person who does not have the right to drink or rent a car is capable of understanding private student loans? And drinking is destructive but being thousands in debt is not? Someone who can’t get a loan for a house or car because they have no credit can take out thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars in educational loans. And why does the most important part of our society cost so much? Studies have proven that education leads to less war and poverty. I would much rather pay for entry into government funded museums or pay more for public transportation or electricity or food and instead have the government subsidize college the way they subsidize corn!
This topic has been most inspired by one of my best friends, Emily. Emily called me last night to talk about issues she is having with student loans. She works a fulltime day job doing customer service and a night job at a bar and yet is barely making ends meet. We went to school together and this year I watched as she traded her immense talent and dreams of designing environmentally friendly hotels to take a job at a call center with a company that had health insurance and a steady paycheck. Her payments are much higher then expected and she cannot feasibly make them without trading something essential like food or shelter. I felt the desperation in her voice when she told me how the loan company was refusing to work with her and find a solution. She is responsible and trying very hard to do the right thing and yet they will not even hear her out on lowering her payments. Aren’t these the same companies we just gave a $700 billion dollars to? Our tax dollars went to crooks that are already stealing from us and now they won’t give her an inch to breathe. And let’s be honest, we all know they’re going to go bankrupt in the near future even post bailout because this system is so unstable.
The irony of it all is that knowledge is power and ignorance is bliss. You have a great college education and learn of all sorts of things about the world leading you to want to see things and help people. But when you owe someone $40,000-$150,000 and you can not actually experience those things you’ve learned of. So what’s the point? You have to go to college to “get a good job” but do good jobs even exist anymore? And why isn’t the government prioritizing education, especially post-secondary education? I know Obama is working on a bill to stop private loans from robbing people blind, and making new rewards for paying on time but as Emily so brilliantly said to me last night “What about all of us who have loans now? Are we now stuck here in the middle and the breaks will only apply in the future?” I say no. It’s time to take matters into our hands and make this a priority in the government.
I have an idea of how to reach our local congressmen and get this dealt with now, but I am going to need help. If you presently have or had student loans in the past send me your story. Tell me how it’s affected you and how you feel. Tell me if you gave up dreams and if you pay your taxes. Tell me about what you want to do and what you like and what it’s like to make the payments on time. Tell me the good, bad and ugly and any ideas of relief you may have like incentive or forgiveness programs. And then tell your friends. Have them send me their story on facebook. Let’s compile stories from all over the country and make a composite like petitions and a documentary and let’s take it to congress. I’ll work on that part you just have to share your story and get your friends to do the same! Help me take a stand and try to make our lives better so we can make other people’s lives better. I’ll be waiting. Xoxo
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Corporate Prostitution
It has been over three years since I have been without a job (I know the term is technically unemployed but I feel like I am totally lacking societal value when I say that word). It’s an interesting feeling not working on a regular basis, especially being a Capricorn-work-a-holic as I am. While most people say that one should enjoy the free time off from being under the thumb of corporate America it’s hard to sit still and not continually earn an income in this day and age.
The funny thing about being a 20 something post college graduate is that when you meet someone and introduce yourself the very next question is almost always “What do you do?” It’s not just a question about what job you hold or how you spend your days but instead it’s a way to evaluate yourself and others. Your response to the question “what do you do” seems to cast off how serious you are about life, how hard you work regularly, what your intelligence level is, and most importantly how much self respect you have. It’s amazing how so many 20 something people are smart and talented but still feel such shame when that question is brought up. The irony of feeling shameful is it’s a well known fact in American culture that people have to work their way up the ladder of industry. You are never the best when you first start a career but yet there is still an air of judgment when one does a job that is on the low end of a totem poll. And worse then judgment is the pity that follows when you say that you are currently “unemployed”.
Even more stressful then simply answering “what do you do” is figuring out what you really want to do in life. It seems today that college degrees are getting more and more specialized for one area of work. This tends to cause a problem when you decided after 4 years of intensive study in one field that the work you’ve been doing doesn’t appeal to you anymore. While everyone says it’s necessary to have a college degree it’s almost useless to have one in a field you are no longer pursuing. And then you dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars down the drain to work at Starbucks (yes you may be the best barista in the world but you are a liar if you say you grew up dreaming of working at Starbucks). I’m in this place right now where I can’t seem to figure out what I want to do with my professional life. I have all sorts of interests and a few talents but I can’t seem to mesh them into a career, and the few careers that I feel could be a close match to my interests needs me to have 2+ years of experience. I say to you WHAT THE HELLL???? How is anyone supposed to get 2+ years of experience with an entry-level position? You know what entry means right? They should change the name to “2 years post entry level we’re still going to pay you crap position”.
Being 20 something and a college graduate has become the new time of self exploration and self loathing (If you ever want to feel crappy about yourself and lack of accomplishments just spend a whole day applying to jobs on monster.com). When you start figuring out what you want to do in life it becomes a quest to understand what you want out of your long term life and your day to day life, and who you are and how you feel about the world and blah blah blah. There is a push pull battle to give up everything and do a job working towards human rights/helping people or to do a job that gets you out of debt quickly and allows you to live the American Dream. There is also the competitiveness that makes you want to be the very best at whatever it is you’re doing even if it’s in a field you never liked. There are days I wish life was like the book “The Giver” where a wise old man tells each of us what we are destined to do in life and that is just that.
Currently Boston seems to have a slightly more thriving job market then Chicago, but the feelings of employment and unemployment ring true for both cultures. While there are more jobs here in Boston at the present they still have the same pre-requisites that Chicago jobs have. I have found however the pride that comes with being in the food service industry is much higher in Chicago then in Boston. Maybe because at this point in time Chicago is much better known for the food and chef culture then Boston is. But Boston takes much more pride in the industry of being a student. I have met countless people so far in Boston that when you ask what they do they tell you they are a student. When you ask where they are a student or what they are studying many follow up with “well I’m not in school presently but I did go to (insert your college choice here) and I’m thinking of going back for (insert chosen profession here)”.
While the prospects do seem greater as I search for my career path in Boston I must continue to battle with the soul sucking that comes when you prostitute yourself out to corporate America. It’s amazing to watch all your flaws and opinions fly out the window as you try desperately to convince a mid-level manager why you are the perfect candidate for the position and why they simply cannot continue to do business without you (Because obviously they can’t retrieve their own coffee or photocopies, that may take too much time away from them spending their work hours on facebook). And with all my well spoken and timely answers and smiles it really doesn’t matter what I say if I didn’t do this internship with that company or that unpaid internship with this company. It boils down not even to your resume but to whom you seem to know from your resume; the infamous “Network” that controls the world. All of this to start with a whopping $12-$17 per hour (Yes I can definitely pay down my student loans with that)!
Yet alas I will continue to search for the dream job, or at least the job that leads to the dream job. And I will of course continue to decide what the dream really is, and hopefully Boston will provide me a little more clarity on that subject then Chicago did. Xoxo.
The funny thing about being a 20 something post college graduate is that when you meet someone and introduce yourself the very next question is almost always “What do you do?” It’s not just a question about what job you hold or how you spend your days but instead it’s a way to evaluate yourself and others. Your response to the question “what do you do” seems to cast off how serious you are about life, how hard you work regularly, what your intelligence level is, and most importantly how much self respect you have. It’s amazing how so many 20 something people are smart and talented but still feel such shame when that question is brought up. The irony of feeling shameful is it’s a well known fact in American culture that people have to work their way up the ladder of industry. You are never the best when you first start a career but yet there is still an air of judgment when one does a job that is on the low end of a totem poll. And worse then judgment is the pity that follows when you say that you are currently “unemployed”.
Even more stressful then simply answering “what do you do” is figuring out what you really want to do in life. It seems today that college degrees are getting more and more specialized for one area of work. This tends to cause a problem when you decided after 4 years of intensive study in one field that the work you’ve been doing doesn’t appeal to you anymore. While everyone says it’s necessary to have a college degree it’s almost useless to have one in a field you are no longer pursuing. And then you dropped hundreds of thousands of dollars down the drain to work at Starbucks (yes you may be the best barista in the world but you are a liar if you say you grew up dreaming of working at Starbucks). I’m in this place right now where I can’t seem to figure out what I want to do with my professional life. I have all sorts of interests and a few talents but I can’t seem to mesh them into a career, and the few careers that I feel could be a close match to my interests needs me to have 2+ years of experience. I say to you WHAT THE HELLL???? How is anyone supposed to get 2+ years of experience with an entry-level position? You know what entry means right? They should change the name to “2 years post entry level we’re still going to pay you crap position”.
Being 20 something and a college graduate has become the new time of self exploration and self loathing (If you ever want to feel crappy about yourself and lack of accomplishments just spend a whole day applying to jobs on monster.com). When you start figuring out what you want to do in life it becomes a quest to understand what you want out of your long term life and your day to day life, and who you are and how you feel about the world and blah blah blah. There is a push pull battle to give up everything and do a job working towards human rights/helping people or to do a job that gets you out of debt quickly and allows you to live the American Dream. There is also the competitiveness that makes you want to be the very best at whatever it is you’re doing even if it’s in a field you never liked. There are days I wish life was like the book “The Giver” where a wise old man tells each of us what we are destined to do in life and that is just that.
Currently Boston seems to have a slightly more thriving job market then Chicago, but the feelings of employment and unemployment ring true for both cultures. While there are more jobs here in Boston at the present they still have the same pre-requisites that Chicago jobs have. I have found however the pride that comes with being in the food service industry is much higher in Chicago then in Boston. Maybe because at this point in time Chicago is much better known for the food and chef culture then Boston is. But Boston takes much more pride in the industry of being a student. I have met countless people so far in Boston that when you ask what they do they tell you they are a student. When you ask where they are a student or what they are studying many follow up with “well I’m not in school presently but I did go to (insert your college choice here) and I’m thinking of going back for (insert chosen profession here)”.
While the prospects do seem greater as I search for my career path in Boston I must continue to battle with the soul sucking that comes when you prostitute yourself out to corporate America. It’s amazing to watch all your flaws and opinions fly out the window as you try desperately to convince a mid-level manager why you are the perfect candidate for the position and why they simply cannot continue to do business without you (Because obviously they can’t retrieve their own coffee or photocopies, that may take too much time away from them spending their work hours on facebook). And with all my well spoken and timely answers and smiles it really doesn’t matter what I say if I didn’t do this internship with that company or that unpaid internship with this company. It boils down not even to your resume but to whom you seem to know from your resume; the infamous “Network” that controls the world. All of this to start with a whopping $12-$17 per hour (Yes I can definitely pay down my student loans with that)!
Yet alas I will continue to search for the dream job, or at least the job that leads to the dream job. And I will of course continue to decide what the dream really is, and hopefully Boston will provide me a little more clarity on that subject then Chicago did. Xoxo.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Feelings feel Strange
9-5-10
First piece of advice for the day: Don’t try to park in Fenway/Kenmore when there’s a Red Sox game. It won’t happen. Just give up and drive to another neighborhood.
I’m 5 days into my new Boston adventure and I’m already feeling a range of emotions I haven’t felt in a long time. For those who know me you know that emotions and I don’t always go hand in hand but I will do my best to express them and move on.
First: The New Apartment Glamour Wearing Off Feeling. George (My boyfriend) and I are subletting a place in Fenway for a few months with the possibility to re-lease it later for a year. It’s a decent price and huge for two people with plenty of closet space and I generally like the layout and spacing of the apartment. But you know when you see a place and no matter how detailed you are at looking at it you still miss things. Well the feature I missed was the windows. The windows are rotting out and it makes it very hard to keep the apartment cool. This little piece of enlightenment came only after I spent two days calling every Wal-mart, Home Depot, Best Buy and such in the state of Massachusetts to find an air conditioner because I guess I never got the memo that no apartments in Boston have AC and everyone moves in September 1st. After a miracle occurred and I found an AC on craigslist, I dragged it back up the 4 flights of stairs to my apartment and I became aware that the windows are rotting and have small holes around them, thus cooling the apartment is more challenging then I realized.
(As a side bar I will be referring to the fact that I take 4 flights of stairs up and down everyday on a regular basis not as a complaint but because I feel it symbolizes many of the challenges and changes experienced from moving to a new city. And it is in fact one of the times each day I am seeing life most clearly and addressing issues that actually matter- such as getting to the top with a 40lbs air conditioner in my arms.)
Second: The Over Abundance of Nature Makes Me Happy Feeling. I’ve been experiencing a more tight connection with space and nature in Boston then I did in Chicago. And yes I realize how cheesy that sounds but for the sake of my entry just go with it. In Chicago it is well known that the major parks make up a strip on the Eastern most part of the city (Grant Park, Oak Street Beach). The large parks are hard to access and the smaller parks must be shared with more people, children and pets. Boston is a much smaller city but one of the most ingenious things done by the original city planners was string larger and medium size parks all around and through the middle of the city. They call it the “Emerald necklace” and it allows everyone access to a park within minutes of walking if not seconds. And while the “Big Dig” took billions of federal tax dollars I personally feel seeing the mile long stretch of the city with no above ground highway and with public parks in its place was actually a great way to spend tax dollars (definitely better then bailing out Wall-street). This is a city where I feel I can breathe more than any other I have experienced.
Third: The I Don’t Have Any Friends Here Yet and My Friends Are 800 Miles Away Feeling. I guess if I’m being honest I didn’t expect loneliness to set in so quickly. I am proud and honored to date a Chef with talent and passion but for those who have worked in the restaurant industry you know how time consuming being a chef is. You know how many hours’ chefs put in daily especially when the restaurant is just opening. And while my boyfriend is amazingly fun and supportive he physically can not be present much during the day as he is currently bringing home the bacon and pursuing his dreams. Being that I don’t have a job yet and I am a little OCD our whole apartment was unpacked except two boxes within a day. So I am here by myself to explore Boston. I’m a huge fan of alone time and feel most people don’t spend enough time with themselves but it’s a different feeling when it’s a choice then when it’s the only option. As I mentioned briefly in my last post I have been threatening and promising to leave Chicago for the last 3 years and just now did it. But the irony is it was not until this last year that I felt for the first time that I had friends individually and collectively that will last for my lifetime. I guess it’s that year long stint after you graduate college when your friendships shake out leaving you with your the real lifelong friends. It’s also when you make your first post-college relationships which I have found to be choosier and long lasting. Loneliness as an emotion is much different then happiness in the sense that it trickles in and builds where as happiness is instantaneous and fleeting. I know I will make friends and build relationships but it will take time and one must stay encouraged on that. I am remembering back to when I moved from North Carolina to Chicago for college over 5 years ago and the feelings were similar but it’s easier in college when you’re constantly surrounded by people that need friends too. I guess as I said earlier I was just so surprised to have even the slightest feeling of loneliness so quickly.
On a more positive note I must say the range of emotions has been perfectly highlighted with this season’s sound track to my life: “Lungs” by Florence + the machine. I finally purchased the album at the behest of one of my bests Melanie. I’m thankful for the months of her mentioning the album and that I didn’t get the urge to download it until now because it is the perfect fall album and a great soundtrack to the changes in my life.
Finally: The No One Here is a Hipster Feeling. I wanted to leave you with a positive feeling and I have chosen the fact that I haven’t seen or smelled a hipster in days and it’s been fantastic. Granted I haven’t ventured to Cambridge much but I still have the optimistic belief that they will at least smell a little better here then in Chicago. Xoxo.
First piece of advice for the day: Don’t try to park in Fenway/Kenmore when there’s a Red Sox game. It won’t happen. Just give up and drive to another neighborhood.
I’m 5 days into my new Boston adventure and I’m already feeling a range of emotions I haven’t felt in a long time. For those who know me you know that emotions and I don’t always go hand in hand but I will do my best to express them and move on.
First: The New Apartment Glamour Wearing Off Feeling. George (My boyfriend) and I are subletting a place in Fenway for a few months with the possibility to re-lease it later for a year. It’s a decent price and huge for two people with plenty of closet space and I generally like the layout and spacing of the apartment. But you know when you see a place and no matter how detailed you are at looking at it you still miss things. Well the feature I missed was the windows. The windows are rotting out and it makes it very hard to keep the apartment cool. This little piece of enlightenment came only after I spent two days calling every Wal-mart, Home Depot, Best Buy and such in the state of Massachusetts to find an air conditioner because I guess I never got the memo that no apartments in Boston have AC and everyone moves in September 1st. After a miracle occurred and I found an AC on craigslist, I dragged it back up the 4 flights of stairs to my apartment and I became aware that the windows are rotting and have small holes around them, thus cooling the apartment is more challenging then I realized.
(As a side bar I will be referring to the fact that I take 4 flights of stairs up and down everyday on a regular basis not as a complaint but because I feel it symbolizes many of the challenges and changes experienced from moving to a new city. And it is in fact one of the times each day I am seeing life most clearly and addressing issues that actually matter- such as getting to the top with a 40lbs air conditioner in my arms.)
Second: The Over Abundance of Nature Makes Me Happy Feeling. I’ve been experiencing a more tight connection with space and nature in Boston then I did in Chicago. And yes I realize how cheesy that sounds but for the sake of my entry just go with it. In Chicago it is well known that the major parks make up a strip on the Eastern most part of the city (Grant Park, Oak Street Beach). The large parks are hard to access and the smaller parks must be shared with more people, children and pets. Boston is a much smaller city but one of the most ingenious things done by the original city planners was string larger and medium size parks all around and through the middle of the city. They call it the “Emerald necklace” and it allows everyone access to a park within minutes of walking if not seconds. And while the “Big Dig” took billions of federal tax dollars I personally feel seeing the mile long stretch of the city with no above ground highway and with public parks in its place was actually a great way to spend tax dollars (definitely better then bailing out Wall-street). This is a city where I feel I can breathe more than any other I have experienced.
Third: The I Don’t Have Any Friends Here Yet and My Friends Are 800 Miles Away Feeling. I guess if I’m being honest I didn’t expect loneliness to set in so quickly. I am proud and honored to date a Chef with talent and passion but for those who have worked in the restaurant industry you know how time consuming being a chef is. You know how many hours’ chefs put in daily especially when the restaurant is just opening. And while my boyfriend is amazingly fun and supportive he physically can not be present much during the day as he is currently bringing home the bacon and pursuing his dreams. Being that I don’t have a job yet and I am a little OCD our whole apartment was unpacked except two boxes within a day. So I am here by myself to explore Boston. I’m a huge fan of alone time and feel most people don’t spend enough time with themselves but it’s a different feeling when it’s a choice then when it’s the only option. As I mentioned briefly in my last post I have been threatening and promising to leave Chicago for the last 3 years and just now did it. But the irony is it was not until this last year that I felt for the first time that I had friends individually and collectively that will last for my lifetime. I guess it’s that year long stint after you graduate college when your friendships shake out leaving you with your the real lifelong friends. It’s also when you make your first post-college relationships which I have found to be choosier and long lasting. Loneliness as an emotion is much different then happiness in the sense that it trickles in and builds where as happiness is instantaneous and fleeting. I know I will make friends and build relationships but it will take time and one must stay encouraged on that. I am remembering back to when I moved from North Carolina to Chicago for college over 5 years ago and the feelings were similar but it’s easier in college when you’re constantly surrounded by people that need friends too. I guess as I said earlier I was just so surprised to have even the slightest feeling of loneliness so quickly.
On a more positive note I must say the range of emotions has been perfectly highlighted with this season’s sound track to my life: “Lungs” by Florence + the machine. I finally purchased the album at the behest of one of my bests Melanie. I’m thankful for the months of her mentioning the album and that I didn’t get the urge to download it until now because it is the perfect fall album and a great soundtrack to the changes in my life.
Finally: The No One Here is a Hipster Feeling. I wanted to leave you with a positive feeling and I have chosen the fact that I haven’t seen or smelled a hipster in days and it’s been fantastic. Granted I haven’t ventured to Cambridge much but I still have the optimistic belief that they will at least smell a little better here then in Chicago. Xoxo.
The First Days
9-3-10
After countless threats and promises that I would be leaving Chicago, IL, I have finally packed my whole life into a small collection of boxes and moved to Boston, MA. I still ask myself what was it that made me first pick Chicago and now to be moving onto Boston; Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment (Cubs and Red Sox, Extreme Winters and high income tax) or maybe it’s my natural inclination towards academia and history. Whatever the reason may be I have made the choice to change cities as I enter a new phase of my life and I’m excited to see what the future holds. I am torn about making a blog because my general outlook on blogs and facebook posts are that they tend to be narcissistic and unnecessary but I have decided it is good therapy for me and a good way for friends to keep updated on what is happening in Boston. I plan to chronicle the first year of my time here in Boston as I reflect on the good and bad times that happened in Chicago and as I look to start a new career and create an entirely new social life for myself.
You may be wondering why I am calling my blog “Fire to Molasses”. Well as it turns out Chicago is known by most of the country for the great fire started by Mrs. O’Leary’s cow. In fact it was this fire that burnt the whole city to the ground in a matter of one night. It’s perfectly reflective of the charm of the city and how able to rebuild they are on a constant basis. Able to rebuild from a fire, able to rebuild from prohibition, and able to rebuild form crooked politicians (cough Blagojevich). It’s also characteristic of how you can easily burn down your morality in one night in Chicago. Mostly because the bars are open so late many find themselves doing more walks of shame there then most other cities. The fire is still the one event that Chicago is most recognized for and no matter how long you’ve lived there you still take great pride in telling others why Chicago doesn’t look as old as most other American cities. Boston however had so many events to choose from- Boston tea party, Paul Revere’s midnight ride, and the Kennedy family history as a whole- that it was much more difficult for me to choose a title. But the one event I find most characteristic of the city is the great Molasses flood of 1919. A molasses tank burst one cold January morning spilling out and covering the North end of the Boston. It poured out at speeds of 35mph killing and injuring everyone in its path until it eventually ended up in the ocean. The residents and local authorities spent the next 6 months cleaning up after the flood and making sure everyone was alright. And then the locals sued the pants off the alcohol company who owned the tank, kicking off one of the first class-action suits held in the US. Today what still rings true of this event is the willingness of the locals to help pull each other out of sticky situations (literally and figuratively). Also, Boston and Massachusetts in general still tend to lead the country in political changes (e.g. Healthcare, Gay Marriage). But mostly the fact that Bostonians are willing to fight for their rights and their neighbors’ rights more then any other group of people I have encountered.
Today for the first time I have felt nostalgic about leaving my whole life in Chicago (except my boyfriend of course who I made come with me). Maybe it’s the 9000 degree weather or the issue of lugging furniture up 4 flights of stairs to my new apartment with no air conditioning but I’m seeing clearly today how easy it is to take things for granted. I feel this may be a running theme for at least the next few weeks until I am settled. However the prospect of new adventures, industry, and general lifestyle (4 flights of stairs multiple times a day and bars closing at 2am instead of 5am) makes it much easier to overcome any feelings of regret or concern.
I promise I will give my utmost effort to post at least once a week with updates of life and lessons learned but now I must prostitute myself to the leaders of industry via monster.com. Xoxo
After countless threats and promises that I would be leaving Chicago, IL, I have finally packed my whole life into a small collection of boxes and moved to Boston, MA. I still ask myself what was it that made me first pick Chicago and now to be moving onto Boston; Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment (Cubs and Red Sox, Extreme Winters and high income tax) or maybe it’s my natural inclination towards academia and history. Whatever the reason may be I have made the choice to change cities as I enter a new phase of my life and I’m excited to see what the future holds. I am torn about making a blog because my general outlook on blogs and facebook posts are that they tend to be narcissistic and unnecessary but I have decided it is good therapy for me and a good way for friends to keep updated on what is happening in Boston. I plan to chronicle the first year of my time here in Boston as I reflect on the good and bad times that happened in Chicago and as I look to start a new career and create an entirely new social life for myself.
You may be wondering why I am calling my blog “Fire to Molasses”. Well as it turns out Chicago is known by most of the country for the great fire started by Mrs. O’Leary’s cow. In fact it was this fire that burnt the whole city to the ground in a matter of one night. It’s perfectly reflective of the charm of the city and how able to rebuild they are on a constant basis. Able to rebuild from a fire, able to rebuild from prohibition, and able to rebuild form crooked politicians (cough Blagojevich). It’s also characteristic of how you can easily burn down your morality in one night in Chicago. Mostly because the bars are open so late many find themselves doing more walks of shame there then most other cities. The fire is still the one event that Chicago is most recognized for and no matter how long you’ve lived there you still take great pride in telling others why Chicago doesn’t look as old as most other American cities. Boston however had so many events to choose from- Boston tea party, Paul Revere’s midnight ride, and the Kennedy family history as a whole- that it was much more difficult for me to choose a title. But the one event I find most characteristic of the city is the great Molasses flood of 1919. A molasses tank burst one cold January morning spilling out and covering the North end of the Boston. It poured out at speeds of 35mph killing and injuring everyone in its path until it eventually ended up in the ocean. The residents and local authorities spent the next 6 months cleaning up after the flood and making sure everyone was alright. And then the locals sued the pants off the alcohol company who owned the tank, kicking off one of the first class-action suits held in the US. Today what still rings true of this event is the willingness of the locals to help pull each other out of sticky situations (literally and figuratively). Also, Boston and Massachusetts in general still tend to lead the country in political changes (e.g. Healthcare, Gay Marriage). But mostly the fact that Bostonians are willing to fight for their rights and their neighbors’ rights more then any other group of people I have encountered.
Today for the first time I have felt nostalgic about leaving my whole life in Chicago (except my boyfriend of course who I made come with me). Maybe it’s the 9000 degree weather or the issue of lugging furniture up 4 flights of stairs to my new apartment with no air conditioning but I’m seeing clearly today how easy it is to take things for granted. I feel this may be a running theme for at least the next few weeks until I am settled. However the prospect of new adventures, industry, and general lifestyle (4 flights of stairs multiple times a day and bars closing at 2am instead of 5am) makes it much easier to overcome any feelings of regret or concern.
I promise I will give my utmost effort to post at least once a week with updates of life and lessons learned but now I must prostitute myself to the leaders of industry via monster.com. Xoxo
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